Family love

It’s been a long way down this road to understanding home management from different perspectives. However, learning these things as a baby into adulthood makes it a lot easier. At 6, I got my first job as a nanny..

Growing up as a young girl experiencing a polygamous home and moving out from that scenario at a very young age of 6 to go begin work as a nanny due to poverty and family core values. One can only imagine what experience a child at that age would get. Becoming a baby nanny at 6 helped me become a better home and people manager.

( FROM MY BOOK THE EAGLE EYE) 

As a mum, there are things you must prepare your mind to learn as far as home management is concerned: understanding the age groups of your family members, the sex differences, health conditions, and above all nutrition.

Age differences: between the ages of 0-7, every parent must develop patience. These ages at home are always a disaster because they want to build and move things around.  They may not complain but have emotions and wishes like you and I.

So practice teachability for yourself and the children. Also, know this age is the most important period in a child’s life. It brings the child to the foundation he will have to build on in life.

Between the ages of 8- 13, many more principles and have their point of view heard. Get ready to listen and correct, and also be patient otherwise, you will develop a high degree of temper. And becoming bitter and violent becomes inevitable.

With teenagers, be careful of peer influence and pressure…to get it straight make these ages your best friends so you can become a part of their decision-making, check out the post on

 Parenting teens.

20-upward…now you got yourself friends and family colleagues and competitors not forgoting your critics and gossip partners. But for this to happen right, it will depend on how you mold them from childhood.

If in your household, you got boys and girls mixed up with extended family members, Be careful for rape. The tendency that the older cousins can try something on your younger daughter is at a rate of 99% regardless of your spiritual strength. Always make yourself available at home at certain hours. Don’t ever allow a boy of 14 to give the younger girl a birth, better stay safe than complain later.

HOW TO AVOID EMOTIONAL AFFAIR

Even if you are married to the best spouse in the whole world, if you do not guard your heart, you may end up “falling in love” with someone aside from your spouse and eventually ruin your marriage.

No one gets married and plans to have an affair but lots of married men and women are into affairs today because they slept when they should have been wide awake with their five senses alert.

 1 ). Don’t be too friendly with the opposite sex. This is where lots of married people land in trouble.  Over spirituality and pride will destroy your marriage! You can’t handle close friendships with the opposite sex as a married person. Your heart is involved. So, .. Set boundaries. 

• Be disciplined. 
• Be cordial. 
• Be respectful. 
• Be godly. 
• Be holy.

2). Don’t share your problems with the opposite sex. friend. It will bond you together. Problems bond people.

3). Don’t contact any opposite sex you are fond of. If you secretly admire them, you are fond of them and there is a tingling in your heart at the mere thought of them, don’t contact them!

4). Avoid unnecessary eye contact that lingers with the opposite sex.

5). Don’t tell the opposite sex you are romantic or sexy. That private information is for your spouse only.

6). Avoid discussions with the opposite sex when you are tired, very sad, depressed, sorrowful, drowsy, sleepy, or very sick. This can cloud your judgment and make you say silly things. Talk to your husband/wife instead.

7). Avoid unnecessary compliments of the opposite sex.

8). Stop saying “I love you” to the opposite sex. For what?

9). Work on your Marriage. Keep the fire of love and romance alive in your Marriage.

10). Protect your Family. Don’t share your marital problems with your opposite-sex friend. It will bond you.

11). Never flirt with the opposite sex.

12). Mind the pictures you post on social media. Limit pictures that show your curves or portray you as sexy.

13). Do not contact all your exes after marriage.

14). Don’t chat with the opposite sex on the days you are horny.

15). Stop focusing on your spouse’s weaknesses and appreciate their strengths. If you always see the bad side of your spouse, you will be angry, bitter, and critical and look for someone who can “understand” you and make you happy aside from your spouse. That is the beginning of an emotional affair and eventual sexual affair. It is the beginning of the end of a once glorious marriage!

• What you will not eat, don’t bring it to your nose. Don’t smell it!

• Don’t start what you cannot finish!

• Avoid all emotional and sexual affairs. They will destroy your marriage!

• May you not take a step that will lead to regrets

Question for the Labour Day…”A guy dating a girl for 3 years without sex, even after their traditional marriage the girl did not still allow the guy to touch her.  her. The wedding day was fixed and the day before the wedding – bachelors Eve still approached the girl but she turned him down again and begged him to wait till after the wedding, so he agreed. At last the D-day finally came and the guy was waiting patiently for the wedding to be over. At 6 pm the newest couple were finally in their hotel. so the guy asked his wife to come to the bathroom with him.

She said she was shy and couldn’t bathe with him so the guy agreed. She went and took her bath first and after her bath, she went to bed while her husband also went to take his bath. When he finished bathing he came out in his birth suit to meet his wife who was already asleep, so he went to the bed and kissed her, she woke up and was panting when she saw her husband in his glory.

He started romancing her but she started crying begging him to wait till nightfall, He was already in the heat but he managed to control himself. She asked him to wait so she could get some rest so that when she woke up, he would do whatever he

desired. He settles back disappointed. Around 9 pm armed robbers broke into the hotel, they were 5 in number. When they barged into the room, five of them took turns in raping his wife after collecting their money, the first guy deflowered her. He couldn’t bear it, he cried as he watched those heartless men force themselves into his wife at gunpoint. They left her unconscious so she was rushed to the hospital and when she regained consciousness her husband sent her packing.

Did the guy do the right thing by sending her packing? If you were the guy what would you do??? Feel free to say your mind, Copied.

Marriage is for friends: Never make him feel like his money is not enough. Keep communication high… understand him, he may not like tiny details… Save it for the end. Never try taking your spouse’s place in the running of your home. Consult with him or her and agree.

It’s not because you are earning more than your husband that you will look low on him Earning more is not for payback time, but it’s a season to agree to grow even better.

• Never use sex to strive for your unsolved issues.

• Sex is for love, it’s for enjoyment, he or she should not ask and refuse because she/did something wrong earlier.

• Plus don’t force sex because you want to calm yourself without thinking how she feels…

• Don’t make a calendar for sex, just let it flow

• Be careful who you share your marital issues with.

• Not every piece of advice is good for every problem

Love in itself has no real meaning until we have found someone whom we truly love then we can share that special moment. 

That’s the moment everyone looks forward to experience. Your dream today is to get that one love you will love forever and in turn be loved as an angel. That person whom you will laugh even at their very boring jokes. That one person who understands you even when you don’t understand yourself. When you lose your mind they can bring it back to you intact. We all need a partner who can financially support us even when it means they have to borrow.  This is certainly every man and woman’s dream, this will be every Entrepreneur’s wish. 

Relationship series

Married or not you should read this…

“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead, she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement that stated that she could own our house, our car, and a 30% stake in my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources, and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally, she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me, her cry was a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something on the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month, we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into our bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions… She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, Daddy was holding Mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young anymore. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses had grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at the last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to the office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death does us part.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, and a smile on my face, I ran upstairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was too busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, the property, or the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive to happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Have a really happy marriage!

• If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.

• If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.